What NOT to include in your pantry: Bacon Toppings

January 6, 2009

I guess it’s that time again: the first USDA recall of 2009 focuses on a true, blue pantry product–Bacon Toppings, better known in the American culinary lexicon as Bacon Bits (as opposed to Bacos, which were neither animal, vegetable, nor mineral). It seems that Golden Crisp Applewood Smoked Precooked Bacon Toppings and John Morrell Applewood Smoked Precooked Bacon Toppings have been recalled because of Listeria, which is characterized by high fever, neck stiffness, severe headache, and nausea. This is exactly how I felt after being back at work yesterday.

I’m not sure why I had a childhood-long love affair with Bacon Bits of all sorts, but I did. They showed up everywhere in our house, for some reason: on baked potatoes, in scrambled eggs, tossed with fettucine. Granted, this was the 1970s and we did what was easy. Why make actual bacon when you could just reach into a jar for a handful of porcine goodness? The only problem of course is that there was nothing even remotely porcine about it or for that matter, in it. 
Bacon Bits/Toppings falls (fall?) into the category of inexpensive pantry ingredient that theoretically could work on virtually anything: on pasta, in soup (think butternut squash), on salads (as evidenced by the proliferation of the Bacon Bits/Toppings trough at the salad bar at Cookie’s Steak House, Huntington Long Island, circa 1971). You name the dish and you can probably use Bacon Bits/Toppings to give it a little blast of salty flavor and, most likely, Red Dye 40. Better still? If you go the Bacos Brand, you can probably eat them if you’re or a vegetarian, or even a vegan! Why? Because they contain nothing in the way of meat or dairy. Whatosever. 
I can’t speak for John Morrell Applewood Smoked Precooked Bacon Toppings or Golden Crisp Applewood Smoked Precooked Bacon Toppings because it appears to be impossible to find the ingredients list for these products anywhere on the web. The manufacturer, Patrick Cudahy, Inc., does offer this bacon bit of information on its website, though:
Well, apparently not so much. 
I’m not going to get into my long litany of why it’s so much easier, better for you, and ultimately more thrifty to make your own pantry ingredients whenever you can (that’s for another post). I will say, though, that if you love your Bacon Bits the way I used to, and you absolutely have to have them on hand, just make your own. Most of us non-vegetarians probably have half a slab of bacon floating around the freezer someplace, coming unwrapped. If you do, follow these remedial cooking instructions; the result will last, refrigerated in a tightly-sealed container, for four days, tops. Why only four? Because your Bacon Bits are made from BACON. That’s B-A-C-O-N. As in M-E-A-T. As in P-E-R-I-S-H-A-B-L-E. Meat is not meant to have an extended shelf life, or to live in your pantry forever. If it claims it can, don’t go near it. 
To repeat: Bacon is meat. Smoked, sure. But still. It’s always better to be safe than to take a stroll down Listeria Lane. 

Homemade Listeria-Free Bacon Bits
Makes about 1 cup
6-8 rashers of bacon, preferably of decent quality
2 paper towel sheets
1 Mason jar
1. Place the bacon in room temperature cast iron pan. Place over medium high heat and cook until very crispy, turning frequently.
2. Remove the bacon to a plate covered with paper towels. Pour off the bacon fat into an empty coffee can (if you’re going to save it). 
3. Break the bacon into small pieces, and place between two fresh paper towels on a cutting board. Roll over them several times with a rolling pin, and deposit the bits into a mason jar. Refrigerate for up to 4 days. 

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